If only humans had tails like dogs.....then we'd all know the level of each other's interest, dislike, or mental state. Granted, that would mean that quilting wouldn't exactly be an option...
Alright, for what I mentioned on FB. I've had several major upsets in the past month.
I have been a regular guest within a group of supposedly like-minded individuals. I say guest, because as of earlier this month, I STILL don't quite feel like I belong. One group "member" advertised that they had tickets for a specific event, to which I and others wanted to go. Since these tickets had been given to the group, I assumed that I could have one. I really hate having to beg to get anything. Nevertheless, I felt like I had to state I-ABSOLUTELY-WILL-BE-GOING-AND-CANNOT-AFFORD-TO-WITHOUT-THESE-TICKETS to get one. Then the very group member who so "graciously" allowed me to have a ticket posted a group request asking when people would be at the ticketed event (being held over a few days) and when. While others answered (myself included), the original poster didn't. I ran into said person at the event along with someone else who'd not been at the get-together, or posted when they would be attending. Neither person said, "hello" to me. I get tired of the drama. This hasn't been the first case of secret groups-within-the-group involving this person and this larger group, but it's my last one to witness.
Second blow, different group..
I've been attending a semi-local quilt guild's meetings, and offered my help during the quilt show they were hosting. I helped wherever I was needed until it became time to help hang up the quilts. Since my help wasn't needed in other areas, I started taking charge to get the quilts hung. I decided what groups of quilts should go to what building (of two), and took charge to get them hung in Building 1. I even got on the ladder and after having hung about 3 quilts, I made a wrong move and fell off of my ladder. I fell directly on my left hip, bruising it pretty severely. I STILL got back up on that ladder (because the people willing to be up on the ladder didn't need to be on it, either. I helped hang/arrange over 85 quilts that evening. I slept the night there, and woke up the next day extremely stiff and hurting. I stayed throughout the day, anyway, and directed the hanging of over 65 quilts in Building 2. I left afterwards, and headed home. I was BACK out there (did I mention it's around an hour drive?) by 8:30 the next morning. I got put at a table with the Hatfields. I guess I should explain. Within this guild there are two warring factions, specifically jointed around two ladies in particular. The McCoy's: their warring lady is on the board. The Hatfields, their lady hasn't been a major player in the guild in the last 3-4 years or so. I get along with both "families" and get asked by the McCoys to do one set of tasks, and the Hatfields leave me alone. So, back on topic, I'm at a table with someone considered to be a Hatfield, and inside the building are a couple more Hatfields. The McCoys give me instructions on topics they do not wish talked about with the Hatfields. So I'm supposed to my job in the freezing cold wind on a mountain in the shade, manning a table with a lady that I'm not supposed to talk on certain topics with.
So, I sleep the night at the site AGAIN with the two who've been there, camped out. I can't talk about my day, because it was miserable (who wants to hear about freezing your hands/toes off?), or anything I talked about (why would I repeat nonsense chit-chat about my family or upcoming projects, again). I also can't really describe the chatter and whispers I've heard from the Hatfields, as that's not fair to divulge one group's secrets and slights to the other when I can't reciprocate (and I don't like talking about it). So I talk about the one thing that I can...next year's quilt show. The ideas I've spent all day working in my head (since I'm not supposed to talk quilt show with the Hatfields) get shut down at every turn. I can't bring up one topic of next year's show without getting told that "it's already been worked out" or "we're waiting for this before we'll even talk about it." I don't have anything left to talk about, and I don't have any energy to keep going for any other topics, so I just stop talking. I get to listen to one McCoy call her friends to exclaim her excitement about a rumor of a Hatfield leaving the group (rumor wasn't from me). I then get to listen to the both of the two campers being catty about others from the group. I also got to listen to my work (having decided what quilts go in what buildings) being criticized, as well as the number of ladies who showed up to work became a problem. I have never heard someone complain before about having too much help. There is a difference between having enough help, and knowing how to direct said help. I've run stores, and often not with my choice on work staff. I learned how to direct and demand attention, and I employed that during hanging quilts. It was quite disparaging to get told that "this was the most trouble I've ever had getting quilts hung" from someone who wasn't even in the building during quilt hanging for most of the time. I had some family stuff going on also, so I left first thing the following morning after making my apologies for leaving abruptly.
Now, I didn't post this to air dirty laundry. That's not my style, nor my intent. No one needs that kind of drama (thus the Hatfields and McCoys; no locations given; no names; no group names; etc.).
It is physically and emotionally taxing when people decide that through whatever reason, they have the power, right, or entitlement to talk about others in a negative light, keep things from the group to play keep-away from certain people, or criticize others because they feel they are inadequate in their own duties. I don't do drama. I don't post every day, or even every week simply because my only comments would come off as drama, or unnecessary chatter. I have made my final decision, come what may. To those who are affected unnecessarily by this, I apologize now. I am leaving/staying out of the groups/guilds where these dramas occurred. I will not return unless I sense a genuine change of heart in either of the main proponents of the drama in each group. I have no time or energy to devote to someone else's ego-trip, high-school-popular-kid's group routine, or micro-management. I already have a job that I'm really good at, and none of this is ever involved in it. I don't need it in the hobby world.
